Archives for posts with tag: relationships

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Ok so I have a confession to make: I have never actually broken up with anyone. Nor have I ever been broken up with. (Yet.) So, my practical experience in this area is limited. However, I do have friends. Very open friends. Very open friends with tumultuous love lives. Very tumultuous love lives. And so, having sat with several women and a fair few men, keeping them supplied with tissues,  mini-rolls and hugs as they navigate the stormy waters of heartbreak, I do feel qualified to air my opinions on break-up etiquette.

So, here they are…

The Dumper:

– If you have been on a couple of dates (less than 4) and you aren’t really feeling it, you may send a text or have a phone conversation to that effect. If you have been dating longer than that or are in a relationship, it has to be face-to-face. Anything less is just cowardly. (The only grey area I can see here is if you are having a long distance relationship. If you had been in love, then you should go and see him/her and do it face to face. If this is not possible, then I suppose it is ok to do it over the phone as making them come to you to be dumped seems a bit harsh!)

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Now, I personally don’t believe in lying to prospective gentlemen callers. (Or lady callers, depending on your preference.) It makes no sense to me at all. It seems to me that the right man for me ought to like me as I actually am, and if he doesn’t, someone else will. Having a man who wants a fake version of me is pointless. Nothing annoys me more than movies where we have to watch the heroine humiliate herself for hours pretending to like fishing/be a vegetarian/speak Finnish/have naturally curly hair /enjoy camping all for the grand prize of ending up with a guy who doesn’t actually like her.

 However, having said that, he does not need to know your entire life story/chequered romantic history/every thought you’ve ever had within the first five minutes of meeting you. And please don’t tell a man you’ve only met on Skype that you hate shaving your legs and put it off for as long as possible like one of my friends did once, complete with visual aids. There is a world of difference between lying, and keeping a little something to yourself.

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Of all the social battlefields, dating is probably one of the hardest to manoeuvre. Everyone has different expectations, everyone is nervous and everyone has horror stories swirling around in their heads. Consequently, it is extremely annoying that the rules seem to be written in quicksand and no two people agree. This is why you should forget what anyone else says, and listen exclusively to The Etiquetterie. :-p (Btw, as I have mentioned before, all Etiquetterie advice is for men and women of all preferences, but to save myself lots of this/that/this- style writing, it is written from the perspective of a straight woman.)

There are way too many issues to cover in one blog post so we’ll start at the end of the date…

…The bill (why, what did you think I meant?).

Who pays?: The Etiquetterie’s definitive dating dos and dough-n’ts-

(Ok I’m sorry, that was really bad… I’m ashamed…)

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