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It might not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty Cher but, to be fair, she is a million feet tall and has a big fire in her hands at all times, you’re not gonna mess with her. Us mere mortals, however, do have rules and we have them for a reason. So, today I want to talk about cancelling/crashing party etiquette. Because, seriously, people seem to have forgotten basic manners in their quest to be like-so-chillaxed and while I am all for calmness and coolness, I cannot get behind rudeness. So, here’s a little quiz to see if you’ll ever be invited anywhere again.

You are invited out. (You popular thing.) What do you do?

 a.) See the invite, shrug and go about your life, never thinking of it again.

b.) Realise that you can’t go, think “eh I’ll tell them later” and never do.

c.) Realise that you can go but can’t be bothered to mention that and so turn up unexpected.

d.) Decide that they probably don’t really need to know, it’s not like they are waiting exclusively for you, what’s the big deal? You’ll go if you feel like it.

e.) Realise you can’t go and tell them, or realise that you can go and tell them, or realise that you’re not sure and tell them.

Points system: a.)-2 b.)0 c.)0 d.)0 e.) give yourself 10 points!

You have replied yes to an event. You big party animal. That morning you wake up feeling ill, have an argument with your flatmate, can’t find your shoes, spend an hour and a half on the phone to your recently dumped sister and cry at a Dove advert. Do you:

 a.) Decide not to go. You’ll be useless company anyway. Upon deciding this, you fall asleep.

b.) Decide not to go and text the inviter letting them know that you don’t feel well and can’t make it.

c.) Decide not to go and text someone else who isn’t the inviter, letting them know you won’t be making it.

Points: a.)-5 b.)10 c.)0

Image“She’s just so beautiful… *sob*”

All of the above has happened again. (Seriously, stop watching TV when you’re pre-menstrual, it’s not safe.) The event is hosted by your best friend. Do you:

 a.) Text her telling her you have had an awful day and won’t be able to make it.

or

b.) Suck it up and go anyway.

Points: a.)0 b.)5 and a bonus point for good friendship!

 

All of the above has happened again! (We need to get you a shoe cupboard. Or perhaps the camo trend isn’t the right one for you?) The event you are dreading is a wedding/Serious Occasion with a sit down dinner. Do you:

 a.) Iiiiiiiit’s naptime! They won’t miss you anyway, you barely know them.

b.) Message them the ol’ “my dog has the flu and can’t be left alone tonight” routine.

c.) Suck it up, wear different shoes (I know, I know, last minute outfit changes are the worst, you have my sympathies, you brave soldier you), paste a smile on your face and go anyway.

Points: a.)-10 b.)0 c.)10

All of the above has happened AGAIN!

(I’m kidding, your poor sister can’t be that bad…)

Moving on.

 

Lying is:

 a.) Very very bad.

b.) Your lifeblood.

c.) Preferable to telling someone when they call to ask why you’re not at their house yet “Oh sorry, I decided to go to the movies with my boyfriend instead, I must have forgotten to press send on my text to you, lol…”

Points: a.)0 for etiquette but give yourself 1 point for good person-ness b.)-5 c.)10

In future you will:

 a.) Carry on ignoring invitations. Life is, like, way too short to tie yourself down to a pre-determined schedule. Man.

b.) Make more of an effort to remember to reply (and stick to said reply) but if it slips your mind, well whatevs, it’s not like you’re the Queen, they haven’t installed a new toilet for you or anything…

c.) Consult The Etiquetterie on every decision you ever have to make. Ever.

Points: a.)-22 b.)0 c.)A million bajillion and 5 gold stars for the class genius!!!

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POINTS:

You scored: -44 to 0. I am having this amazing party next weekend! Everyone who’s anyone will be there! There will be delicious ironic gourmet food! Style bloggers will be buzzing for days after! The music will be out of this world! Baz Luhrmann will use it as inspiration for his next film! It will become known as “The Party of The Entire Life Span of The Human Race”. It will be epic-er than Brian that time he saved £200 on his car insurance and EVERYONE is invited!!!

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Except you. You can stay home and play with your belly button fluff.

You scored: 0-46. Hmmm, bring a big enough present and we’ll talk…

You scored: A million bajillion and 46 plus 5 gold stars. Will you be my best friend? 

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Thank you!

Love,

The Etiquetterie

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